Lithium
by TorquesAngel
Summary: I didn't think I find myself staring at the downfall of my best friend…


**Lithium**

I didn't think I find myself staring at the downfall of my best friend…

**A/N: Hello everyone, new one-shot, as I promised, called Lithium. Inspired by Evanescence song/video, and... I don't own anything affiliated with Evanescence, lyrics or anything. They belong to Amy Lee, and respective owners of Evanescence. **

**Now I may warn you, for those of you that need to be warned about mature content, then so be it. DRUG USAGE. Mentions of sexual/physical abuse, depression. Don't like? Don't read. Simple.  
**

* * *

Everyone has problems.

_"Lithium"_

Everyone has struggles, they're depressed, they are… not happy with their lives.

_"Don't want to lock me up inside"_

I knew someone like this before, my best friend, Ashley Massaro, I didn't think her depression, let alone her condition would get worse, I actually thought everything was going to turn out okay, that's what always happens right? With life being a roller coaster, you go up, and down, and when you're down you go up again.

I thought this at first, until I picked up the one thing I never thought I would see ever be picked up by me. But most of all, I didn't think I find myself staring at the downfall of my best friend… but… I was. And I realized I had a choice to make.

_"Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without..."_

_"Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow."_

_"Oh…."_

This is…

_"But God…"_

This is the story of my best friend, Ashley Massaro.

_"I wanna let it go…"_

She layed in bed, her skin awfully pale, Ashley shook with fear, her eyes dodging to each corner of the room. "Adam!" She cried out. She needed him.

"Adam, where are you?"

Adam Copeland rushed to the young woman's side, taking her hand. "Ashley, are you alright?" Ashley shivered. "What's the matter? Are you cold?"

"Y-yes."

"Here, I'll get you a blanket." Adam started to go when Ashley called for him again. "Adam, stop, wait!" Adam stops, turning to his desperate friend.

"Come to bed... don't make me sleep alone." She begged him. "Ashley, I don't think that's such a good idea, seeing that I have a girlfriend and all..."

"Not like that, Adam... I need you to protect me, from my troubles... I want you to protect me as if my step-dad would come and get me... protect me Adam... please, Adam, please." Ashley begged him. Adam sighed.

"Move over, Ash."

She scooted over, making room for her friend to join her in comfort.

**Narration: Adam: Ashley was never like this before, at least, so I've thought. Her father died overdosing on pills, and her mother got a new boyfriend who wasn't really to fond of Ashley. So time through time, when Ashley would stay the night over, he'd beat her and sexually abuse her. ****It was then when I learned that Ashley was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder...  
**

A few hours later, Adam found himself sitting in a chair in a therapist waiting room session. He signed Ashley up to go and talk about her problems with a professional, and maybe try and help her get back on her feet. It was hours, and seeing how long this went, Adam was pretty confident that the therapist was making progress.

The door opened and out stepped Stephanie McMahon, a professional therapist who handle people like Ashley in her line of work.

"You're her friend?" Her eyes went to Adam. "Yes, m'am. I brought her here because I was concerned. Lately Ashley's been getting no sleep, and her depression seems to be increasing. She barely eats, and the stuff we used to do together, she doesn't seem to enjoy it as much anymore. I guess she's dealing with too much at home..."

"She's bipolar, Mr. Copeland."

Adam looked surprised. "What?"

"She's been feeling like this before her father died, her father dying only triggered a manic episode. Her step-father as well as her mother, not showing any love or care for her as she tells me, only worsens her depression."

"My God... I never knew."

"Most people don't. But... looking through her family's medical history, it would appear that her father, too, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and died overdosing on Lamotrigine." Stephanie explained.

"Lamotrigine?"

"It's medicine to treat bipolar disorder. A mood stabilizer, with this Ashley can feel more... normal and stable with her emotions instead of feeling depressed all the time." Stephanie told him. "Seeing as her father died from it, we look to try treating a patient with something new."

"And what is that?" Adam asked her.

"Lithium."

Ashley steps out from the room, shaking. "Doc,"

Stephanie takes out a bottle and hands it over to Ashley. "Ms. Massaro, take this twice a day, one starting the morning, and another ending your day. You need it. If you wish to be at least... happy again."

"What is this?"

"It's something to make you feel better, Ash." Adam told her, trying to make her comfortable with the situation. "But, I'm - I'm fine." Ashley insisted.

"Ashley, no, you're bipolar."

Ashley froze. She grew afraid again. "What? No, no, I'm not. I'm not crazy." Ashley said persistently. "Ash..."  
Adam attempted to hug her, and comfort his friend when she pushed him away.

"Did you hear what I said? I'M NOT CRAZY! I'M NOT CRAZY! I'M NOT CRAZY!" Ashley screamed when she, all of a sudden, starting to cry hysterically.

_I can't believe I didn't notice before...  
_

* * *

_Few weeks later...  
_

Adam stood nervously at the front porch, giving it a good knock. He waited, when he heard footsteps approaching the door, opening it to reveal Ashley.

"Hey Adam," She smiled.

"Hey Ash, you seem... a lot happier." Adam noted.

"Yeah, I feel happier."

_I hope this isn't another one of those manic episodes. I hope that she really does feel happy, and that this isn't another one of those side effects of being bipolar. _Adam thought as he observed Ashley's behavior.

"So Adam, I was thinking. We should hang out, I'm like... so bored... I have nothing else to do... so... what do you say?" Ashley asks, extremely excited to be spending the day with one of her best friends.

"Uhh, yeah, sure Ash."

"Yay!" She jumps into Adam's arms, hugging him tightly.

"Let's go."

The two friends went out to the movies, spending hours there watching from funny movies, to scary movies. Soon after, they went out to grab a bite to eat. They talked, laughed and had a good time. Ashley seemed to be a lot happier now, and seeing this actually gave Adam hope that she, maybe actually feeling a lot better since getting treatment.

"Well, that was fun." Ashley beamed.

"Yeah, it was. I had a nice time, I hope you did too."

"Yeah, yes, of course. I had an amazing time." Ashley smiles.

"Well, I have to get going." Adam says, and attempts to walk away when Ashley stops him. "Wait Adam!" She jogs over to stand face to face with her friend.

"Yeah? What is it Ash?" Adam asks turning to her. She swallows hard and looks anxiously at the ground. "Ummm... I really don't know how I'm going to bring myself to say this... but... to put it simply..."

She leans over and gives Adam a quick kiss on the lips, which shocks him. He takes a step back. "Ash... wh- what was that?"

"It was a kiss. I was k- kissing you..." She stuttered. "I know that, Ash... I'm just saying... what are you indicating? What are you... hinting at? That we should..." Adam stared at her, already getting a clear indication that the look in Ashley's eyes, meant that they wanted to be more than just friends...

"Stay with me, Adam..."

He took another step back, throwing his hands up. "Ashley, I have a girlfriend, you know that. And what we have together... is special. I don't want to ruin that by pursuing a relationship with you. I think we're just better off being friends..."

Ashley frowned. "Wh- what? So what does this mean? That you- you don't think I'm pretty?" She sobbed, and was almost at the urge of tears when Adam shook his head.

"No, Ashley, no. You're- You're beautiful. It's just... I think we're better off as friends... it's not like that at all, Ash."

"Oh yeah? Then... why are you treating me like this? I don't deserve this Adam! I don't! Not from you! Not from anyone!" She cried out.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Ash. I'm just being honest, I though you might understand." He didn't really think Ashley's condition was so bad that it would be hard for her to understand a situation like this. Maybe it was bad... he didn't know. Adam was not therapist, no psychologist... he just thought Ashley was smart to detect that he was right. That the two of them were better off as friends.

"I'm sorry, Ashley..."

"Whatever, Adam... I'll just... go inside my house and be all by my lonesome self." She turned on her heel, walked inside her house, slamming it in the process.

* * *

_***Phone call***_

_Adam: Hello? May I please speak to Stephanie McMahon?  
_

_Stephanie: Speaking.  
_

_Adam: Hey, Steph. I was just calling to get a few information on the side effects of being bipolar. I think Ashley may of had a manic episode, and I just wanted to know the signs of it.  
_

_Stephanie: Well, Adam. Having a manic episode doesn't occur often, but the side effects of being bipolar are mood swings, the victim can be depressed, be happy, and be angry in an instant. Mood swings occur very quickly with someone who has bipolar disorder. The manic phase may last from days to months. It can include the following symptoms, a few of them deal with elevated moods, as well as lack of self control. Tell me Adam, how was Ashley? Did you see her?  
_

_Adam: Yeah, I saw her. When I went to check on her, she seemed... very happy to see me. She wanted to hang out, we did, and when we came back she kissed me. I told her I didn't want pursue a relationship with her, and she got upset.  
_

_Stephanie: Did she happen to ask, if you wanted to stay the night at her place? Or plead with you I should say?  
_

_Adam: She did actually.  
_

_Stephanie: Hmm... interesting. It seems that the side effects of bipolar disorder here, that Ashley has, is reckless behavior or lack of self control, seeing as she did want you to stay the night at her place.  
_

_Adam: What does that mean?  
_

_Stephanie: It means she might've been planning to have sex with you, Adam. It's one of the side effects of the lacking of self control. This, along with e__xcess activity (hyperactivity), increased energy, racing thoughts and when one talks a lot. _

_Adam: Wow, I didn't realize... I guess I know what to look out for, at least, if she's been taking those pills. _

_(There's another incoming telephone call for Adam.)  
_

_Adam: Excuse me, but I have to take this.  
_

_(He switches dials, and answers the incoming call.)  
_

_Adam: Hello?  
_

_Ashley: Adam?  
_

_Adam: Ashley... are you alright?  
_

_Ashley: No, I'm actually in a bit of trouble... can you come down and meet me at the police station? I- I don't feel so good...  
_

_Adam: Police station? Alright, I'm coming right now.  
_

_(He switches back to the telephone conversation with Stephanie.)  
_

_Adam: I have to go Stephanie, it's Ashley, I think she's in trouble.  
_

* * *

Adam walks into the police station, when Ashley is seen sitting beside a police officer, arguing with him. "I told you before, I AM FINE! What? You can't fucking hear? My God, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Ashley, calm down." Adam says jogging up to meet with her.

"Adam, can you please tell this asshole, that I am fine... God..." Ashley said fed up, when Adam turns to the police officer.

"Ashley, you just told me over the phone, that you didn't feel well..." Adam says to her. "No, I didn't." Ashley spat, but Adam didn't feel the need to argue with his friend, as being in denial (accompany with the sudden emotion of being angry), is a side effect of her condition.

"What happened?" Adam asked turning to the police officer.

"Ms. Massaro was caught driving while intoxicated." The officer informs him. "DWI? Ashley, are you serious?" Adam asks turning to his friend in disbelief.

"What? After you dumped me, I took the rest of those pills the doctor gave me, and I had to get more Lithium." Ashley barked.

"But you should know better, Ash. And how many of those did you take?"

"I took the rest."

"How much is 'the rest?'" Adam asked her. She shrugged in response. "Ashley, that's not good! You're not supposed to take all those pills in one day! You're doing drugs!"

"You broke my heart, Adam!"

"_You're_ going to _break_ if you continue to do this! I'm not going to stand by, and let you do this to yourself! If I have to monitor on how many of those pills you have to take, fine! That's what I will do!"

"You don't own me Adam! I can take care of myself!"

"Apparently you can't, if you're being arrested for driving while intoxicated!" Adam turns to the police officer. "How much is bail?"

"300."

Adam goes through his wallet and hands over the money, to bail his friend out of the situation, and the possibility of being thrown in jail.

* * *

**Narration: Adam: For the next few weeks, Ashley was still having her little manic episode, and her condition has gotten worse since our little 'break-up,' our argument, that fight we had, and after Ashley was arrested for the 1st time, driving while intoxicated. **

**But today was my girlfriend's birthday, and I wanted to take her out and celebrate. I was hoping to rely on Ashley to take care of herself...  
**

**But once again, I continue to misjudge the term, 'bipolar disorder.'  
**

* * *

"Amy? Are you ready?" Adam calls for his red-head girlfriend, as she hurries down in a sexy black leather dress. "You look beautiful, babe."

"Thanks."

"Are you ready to celebrate your birthday? The day you came to life... to be mine." Adam reaches over to kiss his girlfriend, when Amy giggles.

"Of course."

The couple steps out, hand in hand, when they stop when Ashley is seen on the floor, in her pj's, shivering. "Ashley?"

Adam picks up Ashley, brings her inside and puts her on the couch. "Ashley? Calm down, it's going to be okay... just relax... rest..." Adam cooes to her.

Amy stares at the young woman, laying on the couch. "She looks like she's on something... you think I should call somebody?"

"No, it's fine. She's going to be fine..." Adam looks at his friend, shaking his head. "You need help Ashley... I know by the way your acting, that you're on Lithium. I told you not to take so much..."

"Wh- where are you going?" Ashley whispers, completely ignoring Adam, dodging the entire conversation. "I'm going somewhere, Ash, I'm going out with my girlfriend... I'll be back for you... I promise. Just trust me when I say it, Ash... rest please..."

"But I don't want you to leave me..."

"It's alright, Ashley... I'll come back... just rest okay?"

"Rest... rest... rest..." She whispered to herself, before she falls asleep.

"Come on, Amy. Let's go." Adam says when he turns to look at Ashley, who's sound asleep. "Rest, Ashley. Tomorrow will be a new day... you're going to rehab." Adam says to himself before he walks out, leaving Ashley to herself.

* * *

Hours later, Ashley wakes up, looking around the house for her friend. "Adam? A- Adam?" She stands up, shaking uncontrollably, trying to find a bottle of Lithium to calm her nerves.

"No Lithium... no Lithium..." She mumbles, stumbling out of Adam's apartment. "Adam? A- A- ADAM?" She calls. She walks with her hands on the wall, using them as support, preventing herself from falling. She manages to make it outside, and to her car.

She gets in, starts the car, and takes off.

_I can't hold on to me,_  
_ Wonder what's wrong with me._

_ Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside._  
_ Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without..._  
_ Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow._

__As she drives, the car swerves back and forth, with Ashley managing to surprisingly, get the car back under control, despite being intoxicated. Her vision is blurry, and she's seeing double. She can hear cars beep at her, scream at her, but she didn't care... she needed to find Adam...

and Lithium...

That's what she needed... Lithium. She needed to get to Lithium... then go find Adam. Just as her vision worsens, she drives the car off the road, sending it into water.

_Don't want to let it lay me down this time._

The car plunges into the water, and at the moment, Ashley realizes what was happening. She's strapped onto the car seat, seatbelt on, with her car sinking underwater. She pulls her seatbelt off, and struggles to get free from her car. Her vision was terrible... and it wasn't helping her life at the moment.

_Drown my will to fly._

"HELP ME! ADAM! HELP! HELP ME!" Ashley cries out. She attempts to open the car door, but it's jammed... she tries to roll the window down, but her sight of vision, prevents her from doing so... seconds away from being underwater, she screamed, and cried one last time.

"ADAM!"

_Here in the darkness I know myself._

_ Can't break free until I let it go._  
_ Let me go._

Her car, as well as Ashley, sinks completely underwater... and it stayed there...

* * *

"I'm sorry Adam..." Stephanie sits across from Adam and Amy, who just arrived home from their date, wondering where Ashley had went.

"I'm sorry? What do you mean 'I'm sorry?' Where's Ashley?"

Stephanie shook her head. "She's dead, Adam... She's dead. She died drowning underwater."

"No, no, don't say that. Wh- where's Ashley?" Adam sobbed. Amy turns to Adam, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm really sorry, Adam."

"No! No, Ashley! No, no!" Adam puts his head in his hands, and cries, mourning the loss of his friend. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't of left her... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry! "

_Darling, I forgive you... After all,_  
_ Anything is better than to be alone._  
_ And in the end I guess I had to fall._  
_ Always find my place among the ashes._

"Do you want anything? Some tea maybe?" Amy asks her boyfriend, who only cries in response. "I'll go get you something..." Amy stands up rushing to the kitchen. "Ashley, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't of left you!" Adam cries when he looks up to come face to face with a bottle of pills which read: "Lithium."

He stands up, and picks up the container.

_I didn't think her depression, let alone her condition would get worse, I actually thought everything was going to turn out okay, that's what always happens right? With life being a roller coaster, you go up, and down, and when you're down you go up again._

_I thought this at first, until I picked up the one thing I never thought I would see ever be picked up by me. But most of all, I didn't think I find myself staring at the downfall of my best friend… but… I was. And I realized I had a choice to make._

* * *

**A choice? Hmmm... what choice? Nice cliff hanger action, courtesy of me, haha. :) I hope you enjoyed this one-shot, feel free to review and express what 'choice' it is that Adam (Edge) has to make after he loses his best friend to Lithium. **_  
_

**Thanks for reading. :)  
**


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